a. bucket. of. words.

by Cherszy (@cherszy)

Ditch Being Selfish: Don’t Be A Bully

My dad was driving us out of the supermarket parking lot this morning when this van right in front of us suddenly stopped. And it wasn’t just any kind of stopping that you can overtake and drive away, but this van stopped in the middle of the one-way, perfect for one car’s passageway, so everybody behind it, including us, was stuck. And it would be okay and not frustrating if it was because the car accidentally broke down.

But, trust me, it wasn’t that kind of forgivable scenario.

So, to continue, the driver got out of the car, walked towards this girl, picked up her groceries, and slowly transferred them to the back of the car – a scene that took almost five minutes.

To cut the whole story short, the car blocked the exit of the parking lot and hindered every other car from getting out just to pick up a girl and her groceries when she could’ve walked twenty steps from the door of the supermarket to that particular car or she could’ve asked her driver to walk over where she’s standing and help her bring those stuff to the car.

But, no. She was too lazy to walk twenty normal steps. Either that or  she was too proud to carry her groceries because she has a driver to do it for her (which is super what the hell).

But, really, that wasn’t just about laziness. It wasn’t just about pride. It was about that girl being selfish and inconsiderate of others. She wasted five minutes from each of those people’s clocks just so she can be in comfort and convenience. And really, it wasn’t just about the five minutes; it was about the attitude, the way she doesn’t care how her actions and decisions are affecting other people negatively.

What if that five minutes meant something really important to someone who got stuck because of her and her groceries? Okay, her groceries are out of the picture. Five precious minutes… wasted… because of her. What if a dad just bought some milk to feed his crying and hungry son at home, and it would have lessened the pain of that kid’s hunger if he got home earlier… for five minutes? Cases like this, yes, they don’t happen everyday, but what if it did? Not even regret’s going to make things better, you know that.

And yes, I guess we all are aware that that girl isn’t the only one who’s selfish in this world. All of us are – just depends on the degree and frequency of selfishness one has and does. That’s reality. And it sucks big time. But, we can always make room for improvement because we are aware, but most importantly, because we know how much it hurts to be a victim of selfishness. We can’t eradicate selfishness completely, but we can always learn how to care and be considerate more. That is enough to lessen more frowns and erase a little bit of gloominess in people’s hearts.

And since we’re already on it, I’d like to take this post as an opportunity to talk about one of the most selfish acts that has been around for a really long time and has been affecting thousands, if not millions, of people in a very negative way – bullying. Stories about bullying-caused teen suicide and people wrecking their lives just to fit in are all over, and they keep coming every single day and seriously, that’s heartbreaking. Young teens who are supposed to look forward to every exciting minute of their lives are held back from enjoyment, fun, and free expression just because they are not buff enough or tall enough or skinny enough or just because they’re wearing glasses or not sporting the latest looks. Or just because they’re not straight. They’re thinking about death, pills, drugs, cosmetic surgeries, dressing provocatively when they’re not really like that, flunking school so they don’t get to be called nerds, and every other self-deconstructing thing to make themselves fit in or at least get less bullied for when they’re supposed to think about what they want in life, what makes them happy, and how to develop oneself into a person that’s likable by me and pleasant to others.

Bullying is not exactly confined to schools. It’s found in a lot of adult situations as well, but teens are more vulnerable and weaker than most adults when it comes to handling bullying because they’re probably not as ready, not as trained to understanding such a complex part of their lives. There are so many teen lives that were wasted and lost because of bullying. So much potential and talents that were buried into the ground without ever having the opportunity to surface. And it’s all because of those selfish bullies. Selfish because they hurt other people and ruin their lives just so they can appear “cool”.

But, you know what?

Bullies are not really tough. Psychology said, at least I remembered reading something about it or hearing a psychologist say about it, that bullies do what they do because they’re insecure. You heard that right. Bullies are insecure creatures who got face-to-face with their inadequacies, and in order to cover those up, they try to appear superior by making others feel inferior. They make you feel that you’re full of incompetence, so it appears that everyone who is not them is a failure, and they’ve got the upper hand because they’re “always better” when the fact is, they’re just like everybody, struggling with flaws of the self and trying to hide them by being better at something else. But, really, that something else doesn’t have to be bullying.

Sometimes, I’d like to think of bullying as something that has its roots on something other than insecurity (although I’m pretty much convinced that it’s because of insecurity). Maybe it’s because the bully doesn’t like the victim in certain aspects, whether it’s in personality or in the fashion sense or whatever. But, hey, it doesn’t mean everybody likes every aspect of you, bully. There are many things we hate about other people, but it doesn’t mean that we have to hurt their feelings or make them feel bad or ruin their lives just because we don’t like it. It’s always about trying to put yourselves into their shoes, and that’s enough for you to decide if your action towards this person is right or wrong. And clearly, bullying is always wrong no matter how you look at it.

To all you bullies out there, shame on you! You’re insecure, immature, and most of all, you’re so selfish that you don’t deserve to get any form of compensation for what you have done to those you have bullied. But, even that’s the case, I think you deserve at least a chance to redeem yourselves by quitting the whole act of bullying and by starting to be nice to others.

To all victims of bullying out there in the world, always remember that you don’t live to satisfy other people, especially those bullies, but to make yourself likable by you and pleasant to others. I said pleasant, not exactly the complete satisfying type. You can offer so much to the world; don’t let those bullies get in your way of doing that. And always remember, there are more who care than those who hate and more who appreciate than discriminate in this world, so I’m telling you to go out there, take on the world, and live your life beyond imagination. And those bullies? Tell them that they ought to be ashamed because they’re insecure and you’re not.

And to everyone else, every time you start feeling selfish, think of it as a form of bullying and think of the number of people who have lost their lives to bullying and how they could have given the world something but they weren’t given the chance to.

Together, let’s stop bullying. Together, let’s ditch being selfish.

Stay nice and considerate, everyone!


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